[RL - Breakfast at Crane's]

[tntandgasoline]

Morning in Gotham City is a lot like the rest of the day - smoggy, loud, and full of clown-faced crimelords carrying groceries into an apartment building.

The Joker, lately, has been really running out of patience. It might be Harvey's fault, really, since the bastard had made him pull on the reins, but the Joker isn't one to place blame on anyone in particular.

Still, now that he's gotten one thing down - breaking Harvey out of Wayne manor, ch-eck - and another in the works - have a good Valentine's Day, ch-eck - it's time to get to the least pressing - but potentially most fun - item on his agenda.

Wielding two plastic grocery bags filled with various bright colored boxes, a half-gallon of milk, orange juice and a set of bowls and spoons, the Joker makes his way up the stairs to a little place his oh-so-observant gaggle of goons had informed him of.

Without so much as a knock, he jiggles the doorknob, then shrugs and kicks the door open.

"Honey~, I brought breakfast!"

Comments

[clearyourhead.livejournal.com]

He'd been initially alerted by the wiggling knob, and the subsequent crash should've surprised him, but it didn't-- or didn't earn more than a lofted brow; the trigger to a canister of fear toxin he felt at the tip of his fingers gave him enough security, he wasn't particularly afraid of being mugged.

He wasn't particularly afraid of anything though, was he?

As he quickly realized who it was, he frowned. It was a matter of time before Joker found where he'd been hiding away from them, he'd just not expected it to be so early in the morning. Thankfully he'd been awake otherwise he probably would've been quite mad. That door would need to be fixed, probably. Another thing to put on his list.

Hm.

Crane flicked the paper back open, "I've already eaten." A lie, but he doubted he wanted to eat anything Joker would make for him anyway.

[tntandgasoline]

"Bullshit," the Joker responded, pausing just long enough to kick the door (mostly) shut before dumping his goodies on the table. "Let's see..." He gave Crane a passing glance before pulling out the boxes - all of them cereal, most of them for kids. "Lucky Charms, Cocoa Pebbles, some kind of... Fruit Loops knockoff - they were out of the real stuff - and... Wheaties." He smiled very blandly at Crane. "Just in case you don't like processed sugars."

He then pulled out the bowls, some spoons (one was bent a little too much to be really useful), the milk and the juice. "Balanced breakfast and everything, Doc. I'm here on a mission of, uh, good will." He wandered around the kitchen, looking in cabinets and drawers for something. "Cups?"

[clearyourhead.livejournal.com]

He watched blankly for a long moment, processing what exactly was going on because clearly this was some sort of long awaited nightmare come to life. He folded the paper and turned to give Joker a pleasant, cold smile.

"Get out."

[tntandgasoline]

Joker completely ignored the command, digging through a cupboard until he found two chipped mugs. They'd do. He turned and paced towards the table, setting the two cups down with a thud.

"I got Harvey back," he said, in a tone much like one would use commenting on the weather - or maybe a sports team that had won a playoff game. He promptly flopped into a chair across from Crane and ripped open the box of Lucky Charms. "Have some juice."

[clearyourhead.livejournal.com]

He hesitated for a moment, but relented enough to let a glass be poured. Not like he'd actually drink it. For a moment he let himself wonder if there was any other motive behind this visit or... maybe Joker really needed company. Or something equally bizarre.

He sat back in his seat, "How?"

[tntandgasoline]

He didn't have to drink it. Joker poured his own glass, then went about filling up his bowl to the brim with cereal, slopping on milk until it overflowed just a little. He slumped in his seat and slurped up what had dripped onto the table before beaming at Crane.

"Threw rocks at his window. Then told him it was, uh, time to come home."

[clearyourhead.livejournal.com]

A small twitch of the brow was all he gave to the mess being made at his table. It wasn't the nicest place, but he did make an effort to keep it tidy-- Oh Christ, that was disgusting.

"I see."

[tntandgasoline]

The Joker - already well aware (or maybe completely unaware) that he was, generally, disgusting - ignored any expression that Crane might've made. He grabbed the highly bent spoon and dug in, pushing the unopened, factory-sealed box of Wheaties over towards the doctor.

"I had to convince him, though." He picked out the few marshmallows that made it onto the spoon, dropping them back into the bowl before slurping down the spoonful. "It was... a little distressing. I came to talk to you about it, because, uh, you're the head-doctor. Not me."

[clearyourhead.livejournal.com]

... Okay, that made him crack a smile. A miserable, mocking smile, but a smile nonetheless.

"You are quite the concerned friend, aren't you?"

He pushed the Wheaties back at him.

[tntandgasoline]

The Joker gave Crane a long, steely look - one that promised very horrible things - and then slid the box back towards him. "I am. I don't like that, uh, Wayne has his claws in Harvey. I don't like the fact that I had to talk Harvey down."

He took another spoonful, repeating the process as before, and then said, "I don't like it. One bit."

[clearyourhead.livejournal.com]

"Why does it disturb you to think you may lose Harvey?"

He quirks a brow at the box and tested fate, pushing it back with another smile.

[tntandgasoline]

The Joker stared at the box for a moment, then gave Crane a long look.

"Eat. The fucking. Cereal."

[clearyourhead.livejournal.com]

"Answer my question, first."

[tntandgasoline]

The Joker sighed dramatically, going in for another few spoonfuls. "I never said disturbed. Annoyed, maybe, but never disturbed. I've invested more time in him than I care to admit and this is not the kind of thanks I want."

He slid the box again. "Now. Eat."

[clearyourhead.livejournal.com]

"You're lying," he murmured, taking the box and opening it neatly, tearing the bag open quickly, "You wouldn't come talk to me if you were just annoyed, you'd be doing something about it."

He poured his bowl, then the milk, dipping his spoon into it-- and then hesitated, "Why did you come here?"

[tntandgasoline]

The Joker blinked from over his bowl, an exaggerated, thoughtful expression coming over him for a moment before he shrugged.

"I haven't seen you lately. I wanted to say hello." Not the whole truth, but it was nothing but the truth, that's for sure. "I didn't come here to, uh, kill you or anything, so don't act like I poisoned your fucking breakfast."

He pointed his spoon at Crane, trying to look serious and failing. "You're all skin and bones, I wanted to - to help fatten you up."

[clearyourhead.livejournal.com]

"Aren't you considerate," he murmured, eying the bowl and pushing the bits into the milk. He'd never been a fan of Wheaties. His father always liked them, though.

He took a bite, hardly impressed but not willing to show anything for fear of offending Joker further.

[tntandgasoline]

Maybe he and the Joker would be able to trade stories about all the things their fathers liked at some later date; for now, though, the Joker just continued habitually picking out the marshmallow shapes from his spoonfuls of cereal.

"I try. --Aren't you, uh, glad? You got to play with Stark and we," he gestured between the two of them vaguely, "Came out ahead. Well, except for the concussions, but you deserved yours."

[clearyourhead.livejournal.com]

He gave him a look before glancing down into his bowl, playing with the pieces more. Drowning Wheaties, is this what he'd come down to? He pressed his lips together into a thoughtful line, "What did we gain?" I'm inclined to believe we proved absolutely nothing. Though that's how most things felt with the Joker, didn't they? Utterly useless until the true meaning was revealed.

He half wondered if he ever intended it, if by some chance under all that paint and makeup there was a disturbing intelligence and this was something that faltered him frequently. He wanted to believe the outward, stupid actions, the brash, thoughtless plans and most of all he felt comfortable feeling that he was for the most part smarter than Joker.

He knew better, too. Chaos, as he would suggest, doesn't run on intelligence after all, does it? Transcends, overcomes, destroys and rebuilds... Or something equally pretentious.

He took another bite, finding this one more favorable.

[tntandgasoline]

The Joker stared at Crane, looking intensely bemused at the audacity of such a question.

"Well, for one..." He finishes off the last generous spoonful of oat pieces and eyes the remaining mush of half-dissolved marshmallows and milk in appreciation. "We know that Harvey can spend weeks at little Wayne's house and still come home like a good boy."

He shrugged, starting in on the marshmallow mush, "I consider that a win. I like making sure that, uh, the people I keep around me - you, Harvey, the clowns on the street corner outside - are all on my side. Makes things easier - less cleanup, if you're all playing with me, not against."

[clearyourhead.livejournal.com]

Another bite, "And--" Swallow, "And what if not everyone is playing with you. What if he comes home because he's reporting back to Bruce, and by proxy, Batman? Do you ever think about that?"

[tntandgasoline]

"What kind of person would I be if I didn't have plans for something like that?"

The Joker smiled blandly at Crane, taking a large bite.

"Don't get me wrong, dollface. I'm glad Harvey's back - I really am - but he's not out of the doghouse yet. I still have to put him through the, uh, wringer, to make sure that isn't the case."

Still... He knew where Harvey stood. It was too obvious. "Besides - you didn't get to see his reaction when I told him - when I said what I said to get him to come back. Smart, maybe, but Harvey has never been able to keep his true self contained when I'm around." If that's not a purr in his voice or a shiver down his back, nothing is.

[clearyourhead.livejournal.com]

"Sounds thoroughly thought out," he offered dryly, pushing the bowl away, half finished. He wasn't hungry enough to humor him anymore.

[tntandgasoline]

"I try. See, the thing is - I don't like it when things I want don't go my way. It's not, uh - it's not good for me, and I look out for my self-interests. Y'know how it is."

The thing about Crane, Joker figured to himself as he mimicked the doctor's usual method of spraying noxious fumes into the other's face over their breakfast, was that he took the Joker's intelligence for granted. Assumed things, like maybe he wasn't going to eventually use the laughing gas he had given him against the doctor himself at some point - or that he would be too stupid to figure out how to do it. Either or.

[clearyourhead.livejournal.com]

He jerked, eyes widening for a brief moment as that familiar poison filled his lungs; strange, he knew it would happen but this seemed... unusual. He'd expected it perhaps in front of a crowd, to be humiliated thus; there was no reason to do this alone--

And then his limbs began to sag and he leaned back into his chair with a sigh-- and a laugh. Ah, the new stuff. It worked, didn't it? Of course it did, he made it.

"I was, , wondering... when," another laugh erupted out of him and he couldn't predict it, a hand rising slower than he would've liked to clamp over his mouth, shoulders shaking with increasing laughs.


Well. Fuck.