tntandgasoline | [RL - Poor drunk Joker 8( GUEST STARRING: LISA AND HARVEY!]

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[RL - Poor drunk Joker 8( GUEST STARRING: LISA AND HARVEY!]

The Joker was many, many things.

Right now, thanks to the community, he was a drunken clown haphazardly throwing dirty old sheets over a bloodstained couch. After all, drunk or not he knew that Lisa probably - just probably - wouldn't enjoy sitting on or near blood. So, he'd hide it, even if that meant stumbling to and from rooms to get cleaner sheets - so that's where his feet went - just to make a better impression. The fact that it looked strange and out of place didn't really register to him.

And besides, there was a good chance she wouldn't show. After all, the community had seemed so very, very against it. Oh well, no loss.

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"We'll just move," he said, shrugging languidly before eying her skeptically. "I don't believe you."

If it was true, she wouldn't have changed her story. Besides, "I know lies."

What was it with these people and not letting her lie? It was for the best, sometimes, when you didn't want someone to be involved, or when you didn't want them to get hurt. Well, he wasn't going to budge, so she fumbled for some truths she could offer.

"I really don't want to talk about it." There. That was something. "I just got in a fight with someone. A couple someones. Over coming here." Clint and Tommy would have been fine, most days - she was prepared for their reactions, they were predictable - but Jackson? She hadn't been prepared for that. She didn't think she ever could be.

"Never ever talk about it," the Joker groaned, shaking his head. "Rules, rules, rules Lisa and you, you just need to stop with the rules." But he had said he wouldn't talk shop, and so he shut up, sulking on the couch in an unintentionally moody pose.

"Shouldn't have, uh, said why you were coming."

"They figured it out when I lied and said it was for lunch with Eddie." She was getting better with these rare moments of honesty. Or, maybe it was worse that there were more of them - who could tell? Lisa simply rubbed her arm unconsciously, shaking her head. "I didn't want to lie to my friends, anyway."

"Why not?" the Joker asked, sounding genuinely confused. Lying was easy, lying was fun. When you got good at it at least, "You just can't do it right." Lies made life interesting. A guessing game.

"Part of my job is to lie to people, I'd say I'm pretty good at it. It's just... different. When you're lying to a friend. Or, at least, it should be. You don't ever feel bad lying to Harvey?" She briefly considered that maybe she was asking too many questions. Pushing the issue. The kind of thing that would get her choked if she were talking to Jackson. But this wasn't Jackson, and she was quite certain that even if the Joker tried to choke her, he was too inebriated at this point to do much harm.

The Joker frowned at her and tried to decide how to answer that. Lying to Harvey wasn't any different from lying to anyone else - "He's Harvey." He wouldn't believe anything the Joker said anyway. "And lying - lying like work-related is different from just... from making it all up." He spread his arms and laughed, "Look how well it works when you can just, just lie and not care! So much easier, Lisa." So, so much easier.

A pause.

"And Harvey isn't my friend." Old pal.

"He puts up with your quirks and lives with you, what else would you call him?" So it was a pretty big presumption, but considering Harvey had been making apologies to her for the Joker, and given the information she'd just gotten in this little meeting, she figured she had at least some fact to stand on.

"And, that's a lie in and of itself. The truth is easier, you have less to keep track of."

"A stick in the mud, mostly," he giggled, head dropping back against the back of the couch so he could stare at the ceiling. "Odd being drunk without, without the uh, the taste. Scotch!" He pulled himself up abruptly and stood, looking around. "Where does Harvey keep his alcoholic tendencies, Lisa?" Like she would know, "If you were him."

He glanced back at her, vaguely waving a hand. "There's no truth, not without you believing it."

"Uh, he doesn't keep it in the freezer? That's where most people do..." She briefly wondered if they had a freezer in that apartment. There couldn't be too many places to hide things. Which reminded her - that sheet on the couch.

"Why do you have a sheet over your couch?" It wasn't strewn in any way that resembled someone sleeping on it, so that was a poor explanation, but it was the only one that Lisa could find.

"...The freezer?" The Joker stared at her for a minute, then rolled his eyes. Floridians.

The question about the couch makes him pause, halfway to the kitchen to ransack it in search of alcohol. "I - it's there because, because Crane is a neat freak," he lied fluently. "Like, uh, like the... the plastic covers, right?"

"Should you really be drinking in the first place? You're already drunk - you might black out or something. I wouldn't know the first thing about which hospital to take you to, or who to call." Lisa was rambling slightly, but she didn't seem to notice. It was a genuine concern - surprising for someone to voice for the Joker, but genuine nonetheless. The explanation of Crane being a neat freak sat well enough with her that she didn't press the issue. She had a certain understanding for neat freaks, after all.

"Why not? It's not - it's not really drunk until I can taste the, the liquor." He looked back again at the tone of her voice - "Don't - ...Stop caring so much." You're not supposed to care, it's weird and it doesn't feel right.

"You asked me to come here, you get to deal with the consequences. Now, go sit down and finish that bottle of water, because it might actually help rather than hurt." Lisa replied firmly. Her hands were on her hips before she realized it, exasperation evident. He was making it very difficult to watch out for him.

-What?

He turned to look at her, taking in the full effect of her standing there, annoyed and arms akimbo - 'Go to your room, young man!' - and he frowned. "Don't tell me what to do."

"Too late. You should have thought about that before you asked me to come." Her glare was sharp and her voice was even sharper. After the fight she had gotten in with Clint and Tommy over coming here, she wasn't about to deal with the Joker's bullshit in stifling whatever assistance she could provide. "I'm asking you to do it for your own good."

"I didn't think-" That you'd act like my mother, that you'd be such a worrywart, that you'd ca- "That you'd be such a bitch about it."

Still, he went and sat down on the couch, sulkily gulping down more water. Women.

Harvey wasn't sure what he expected to find- no blood and carnage like most would expect no, he knew better. If anything his concern would be for the woman's mind. That's how the Joker had started with Maggie- with lies. He nearly draw a hand over his face in frustration, figures Maggie's friend would be a trouble magnet as well.

When he reached the place he made no attempt at quiet, slamming the door open with a dark look until his eyes fell on the two figures, glancing only barely at Lisa before settling on the clown, gaze sharpening.

"You idiot." He muttered, taking the scene in though none of the tension left his shoulders.

"...Are you calling me an idiot or him?" Lisa asked, irritation in her voice, without thinking. Though, she had to admit, it was probably a strange sight to happen upon - clean, prim Lisa with Joker in his messy, decrepit apartment.

It took the Joker a minute to realize that Harvey had just come in and insulted him - in his own home! - and Lisa was still being so pushy and -

"Harvey!" he exclaimed, looking utterly distraught as he jumped at the other, "Tell her to stop, to stop caring so much!"

Harvey stared just a moment before letting out a frustrated sigh, moving forward and roughly shoving the Joker back onto the couch. "He's the idiot." He answered, turning his hard gaze to Lisa. "And so are you for coming here."

He looked back to Joker. "After Ed you do this? What, need to move again now?" his tone turned more irate than genuinely wrathful, glancing at the sheets and coverings. Idiots.

"After Ed-- You mean Eddie?" She suddenly looked very interested in their conversation, whereas Joker's childish antics had left her unimpressed. "What did he do?"

"Edward." The Joker hadn't sounded - or felt - so irrationally angry at a name in a while. He glared at Harvey for even bringing the fucker up, before shaking his head. "No no no no no, Harv! It's Lisa. She told - she already said she won't tell, and she's, she's just a horrible liar so I trust her."

Where had that word come from? Oh well.

"Where's your scotch?"

"You fucking idiot." Harvey growled, ignoring Lisa again in favor of looking the Joker's state over- hell he really was drunk. He didn't bother stifling a sigh this time, nearly rubbing his temple.

"No scotch." He muttered, looking at Lisa again. "Wasn't him who did it, though he'd probably do worse now." He said, and it was the truth. She wasn't getting any more than that. "Why are you here?"

"I was here to make sure he was okay. I didn't want him to hurt himself." It sounded ridiculous now that she was actually explaining it to Harvey. She bit her lip. "He asked me to come over. I thought he might have... needed something." Lisa crossed her arms over her chest defensively, sighing, shaking her head. "I don't know. I'll... leave."

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