tntandgasoline | [RL - Poor drunk Joker 8( GUEST STARRING: LISA AND HARVEY!]

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[RL - Poor drunk Joker 8( GUEST STARRING: LISA AND HARVEY!]

The Joker was many, many things.

Right now, thanks to the community, he was a drunken clown haphazardly throwing dirty old sheets over a bloodstained couch. After all, drunk or not he knew that Lisa probably - just probably - wouldn't enjoy sitting on or near blood. So, he'd hide it, even if that meant stumbling to and from rooms to get cleaner sheets - so that's where his feet went - just to make a better impression. The fact that it looked strange and out of place didn't really register to him.

And besides, there was a good chance she wouldn't show. After all, the community had seemed so very, very against it. Oh well, no loss.

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He shook his head and scarfed the rest of the burger down, twisting his head to look at her better. Get him - what else could he get?

He laughed until his sides hurt, "You could, uh, you could have gotten me, gotten Maggie to come along!"

Lisa's expression hardened and she stood up, taking a few paces away from him and getting very obviously uncomfortable with the direction the conversation was heading.

"That's not funny," She informed with pursed lips. "I told you what I thought about what you did to her already."

"Oh, Christ." The Joker squirmed onto his stomach and rolled his eyes at her. She was so sensitive! "She's - y'know, she's a big girl, and all, and I think that, I think she's fine by now and really, Lisa, stop, just stop."

He waved his hand, "You know - you know I'm doing this, this virus thing and you still have the indecency to get mad at me for a fucking joke that a guy makes about a girl. Relax." He stretched out on the couch once again and took a drink from the bottle of water. "Besides, she's too young for me."

"She's not just a girl, she's Maggie. She's my best friend."

That was news. Or, rather, she supposed it had been a long time coming, but it was the first time she'd ever called Maggie her best friend to anyone else. Lisa just brushed it off, though. Better to consider later.

"And I've-" No, shut up. He smacked himself upside the head, grunting and taking another swig of water. It's not been that long since - "Ugh. Haven't talked to a woman in years." A decade, maybe less, a real conversation and not the shy-horse twenty questions from last time, but it's all the same. "Never could figure out how to act around your kind." Like they were a separate species. Not that he didn't, "Not that I don't like women, I -" Shut up, idiot.

He drew a hand over his face and went to pick fries from the bag at his feet. "Fucking community."

Lisa did a poor job of hiding her surprise. He was... being open with her? Volunteering information. That was unusual. She had to wonder how much of it was true. Considering what he actually said, though, she couldn't help but think it was. It made enough sense to her.

"Why not?" She realized it would be a good idea to further specify what she was questioning. "I mean, why haven't you? I've never taken you as the type to not like talking, so that can't be it."

He gave her a deadpan stare, raising an eyebrow and tossing another fry into his mouth. How to answer? He knew he needed to be honest in a way but not really honest, "No time for women," you know, like that, "Busy and besides, uh, look, look at the community and imagine what a gal's friends say in real-" or that, shut up! He cut himself off with another fry.

"Haha, Lisa," he sing-songed, wagging a finger at her, "No alcohol drunk is still oh, oh so very drunk. And only Harvey gets to play these little Chicago games with me."

There was a moment's pity in her face but she hid it quickly, knowing well enough that it wasn't going to be well-received.

"Who's playing games? I thought you'd realize I'm not really the type." Lisa questioned, trying to ignore his insistent wagging finger. Did he really have to do that? As though she were some petulant child. "I'm just trying to have a conversation."

If he saw the pity he didn't think clearly enough about it to bring it up, struggling to sit back up. "A conversation, huh. Being nice to uh, to the resident anarchist, making conversation, what do you - I mean, what could you be hiding, Lisa?" He was being paranoid, he needed justification, he didn't really care, "Just being paranoid, angel, don't listen to me right now."

Well, don't not listen, but, "Not gonna esp- aspuse - rant about work tonight. And don't - don't tell Harvey what I just said, he'll, he'll start going on about me having a real past and God he's fucking annoying when he gets on me about that." Gets on me - he couldn't help but crack up at the unfortunate turn of phrase.

Edited 2009-05-16 11:44 (UTC)

Were it anyone but the Joker, she might have asked why he had spontaneously started to laugh, but Lisa had already accepted that as a quirk of the Joker's personality. Instead, she just looked interested in his decision to hide the confession from Harvey.

"Dent, right? I won't say anything if you'd rather I didn't - it's your business, and I know if it weren't for this virus, you wouldn't have said anything in the first place. I can... commiserate." She admitted, thinking back to the inner thoughts virus. "So, I'd say that makes whatever I am or am not hiding fair game." That said, she wasn't sure what he did think she hiding, let alone whether or not he was right about it.

"Well," he said, laughter subsiding as he drank down more of the water, "Well, you just - you never answered me, if you were crying or not and it's just odd, because, well, because that's usually what happens when people talk to me, not before." He pointed at her, frown deepening, "I didn't make you come out here, you did. So I couldn't have done it."

He added, "And you probably aren't hiding - hiding anything, I just, oh, get paranoid lately ever since-" Shut up! "Batman found out where I was - you aren't going to tell him, right?"

"I'm not going to tell him." Even if she probably should. Even if she definitely should, because men like the Joker needed to be committed. "Your world--" Well, that wasn't entirely true-- "Gotham isn't any of my business." After all, it was the same world her father was in. The world was at least somewhat her business.

"And, I wasn't... I wasn't crying. It had nothing to do with you." Again, not true. "It wasn't your fault."

"We'll just move," he said, shrugging languidly before eying her skeptically. "I don't believe you."

If it was true, she wouldn't have changed her story. Besides, "I know lies."

What was it with these people and not letting her lie? It was for the best, sometimes, when you didn't want someone to be involved, or when you didn't want them to get hurt. Well, he wasn't going to budge, so she fumbled for some truths she could offer.

"I really don't want to talk about it." There. That was something. "I just got in a fight with someone. A couple someones. Over coming here." Clint and Tommy would have been fine, most days - she was prepared for their reactions, they were predictable - but Jackson? She hadn't been prepared for that. She didn't think she ever could be.

"Never ever talk about it," the Joker groaned, shaking his head. "Rules, rules, rules Lisa and you, you just need to stop with the rules." But he had said he wouldn't talk shop, and so he shut up, sulking on the couch in an unintentionally moody pose.

"Shouldn't have, uh, said why you were coming."

"They figured it out when I lied and said it was for lunch with Eddie." She was getting better with these rare moments of honesty. Or, maybe it was worse that there were more of them - who could tell? Lisa simply rubbed her arm unconsciously, shaking her head. "I didn't want to lie to my friends, anyway."

"Why not?" the Joker asked, sounding genuinely confused. Lying was easy, lying was fun. When you got good at it at least, "You just can't do it right." Lies made life interesting. A guessing game.

"Part of my job is to lie to people, I'd say I'm pretty good at it. It's just... different. When you're lying to a friend. Or, at least, it should be. You don't ever feel bad lying to Harvey?" She briefly considered that maybe she was asking too many questions. Pushing the issue. The kind of thing that would get her choked if she were talking to Jackson. But this wasn't Jackson, and she was quite certain that even if the Joker tried to choke her, he was too inebriated at this point to do much harm.

The Joker frowned at her and tried to decide how to answer that. Lying to Harvey wasn't any different from lying to anyone else - "He's Harvey." He wouldn't believe anything the Joker said anyway. "And lying - lying like work-related is different from just... from making it all up." He spread his arms and laughed, "Look how well it works when you can just, just lie and not care! So much easier, Lisa." So, so much easier.

A pause.

"And Harvey isn't my friend." Old pal.

"He puts up with your quirks and lives with you, what else would you call him?" So it was a pretty big presumption, but considering Harvey had been making apologies to her for the Joker, and given the information she'd just gotten in this little meeting, she figured she had at least some fact to stand on.

"And, that's a lie in and of itself. The truth is easier, you have less to keep track of."

"A stick in the mud, mostly," he giggled, head dropping back against the back of the couch so he could stare at the ceiling. "Odd being drunk without, without the uh, the taste. Scotch!" He pulled himself up abruptly and stood, looking around. "Where does Harvey keep his alcoholic tendencies, Lisa?" Like she would know, "If you were him."

He glanced back at her, vaguely waving a hand. "There's no truth, not without you believing it."

"Uh, he doesn't keep it in the freezer? That's where most people do..." She briefly wondered if they had a freezer in that apartment. There couldn't be too many places to hide things. Which reminded her - that sheet on the couch.

"Why do you have a sheet over your couch?" It wasn't strewn in any way that resembled someone sleeping on it, so that was a poor explanation, but it was the only one that Lisa could find.

"...The freezer?" The Joker stared at her for a minute, then rolled his eyes. Floridians.

The question about the couch makes him pause, halfway to the kitchen to ransack it in search of alcohol. "I - it's there because, because Crane is a neat freak," he lied fluently. "Like, uh, like the... the plastic covers, right?"

"Should you really be drinking in the first place? You're already drunk - you might black out or something. I wouldn't know the first thing about which hospital to take you to, or who to call." Lisa was rambling slightly, but she didn't seem to notice. It was a genuine concern - surprising for someone to voice for the Joker, but genuine nonetheless. The explanation of Crane being a neat freak sat well enough with her that she didn't press the issue. She had a certain understanding for neat freaks, after all.

"Why not? It's not - it's not really drunk until I can taste the, the liquor." He looked back again at the tone of her voice - "Don't - ...Stop caring so much." You're not supposed to care, it's weird and it doesn't feel right.

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