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Oh, I know all sorts of tricks. Card tricks, paper tricks, hat tricks...
The only one I could never quite get the hang of was the one where you put a lady in a box and saw her in half. Maybe third time's a charm, but after the second attempt, nobody wanted to get in the box...
Oh, I know all sorts of tricks. Card tricks, paper tricks, hat tricks...
The only one I could never quite get the hang of was the one where you put a lady in a box and saw her in half. Maybe third time's a charm, but after the second attempt, nobody wanted to get in the box...
[The Joker is walking across what looks to be an abandoned wheat field, long-ago harvested and never replenished, with only one tractor path to follow. There is a log cabin far in the distance, though it only takes a few seconds for him to reach it. An old man is sitting on the porch swing, and as the Joker takes the steps one at a time - it seems to take forever to get up the three front steps - the man stands and pulls open the battered screen door.
The cabin seems to age and morph from a log cabin into an old house, but the old man is still holding open the door. His face is impossible to make out, as though from a blurry photograph, and as the Joker ignores him and steps across the threshold of the door, the man seems to turn to dust, leaving nothing but his skeleton before disintegrating entirely.
The Joker doesn't seem to notice; equally odd, he doesn't seem to notice that his appearance has turned to that of a normal, blond-haired man without his trademark scars, paint or outfit. He walks through the old-looking house, glancing into a mirror on his way to a room in the back. He seems to know exactly where he's going.
The back room is painted in a soft yellow; it's a bedroom with an old four-poster bed and a large beige comforter. Wrapped up in the comforter is a woman with blond hair and a soft face - she's just as blurry as the old man, but somehow it's easier to make out her features. She can't be older than 24, and she sits up on the bed and the Joker approaches, climbing into the bed like he's always been there.
The woman rolls over and lies on top of him, smiling so serenely, as though nothing were wrong. And maybe her hair is looking distinctly darker in some parts, or maybe she seems to have something wrong with her face, though it's impossible to really tell what, but it doesn't seem like the Joker minds in any way.
She smiles and opens her mouth; she looks like she's saying something but all that comes out is a bat, stretching its wings. The Joker picks it up and it squeaks, flapping around and shrieking at him. He just laughs, soundlessly - the whole thing is soundless, except for that damned bat - and lets it go; he can find it again whenever he wants.
He looks back to the woman, who's now holding a knife to his cheek, saying something with that serene smile still, and it's so peaceful that the Joker doesn't even care when she puts the knife through the soft tissue of his cheek; he laughs as she drags it down.
And everything is just so very, very serene and that's where the dream ends.]
((That's riiiight, all that work to stay up and he ends up passing out just in time to have a really weird dream. It's up to you guys to decide if it means anything or not - but it is not a direct memory.
Also it's NOT an interactive dream, so no worries about dealing with non-deformed Joker <3))
The cabin seems to age and morph from a log cabin into an old house, but the old man is still holding open the door. His face is impossible to make out, as though from a blurry photograph, and as the Joker ignores him and steps across the threshold of the door, the man seems to turn to dust, leaving nothing but his skeleton before disintegrating entirely.
The Joker doesn't seem to notice; equally odd, he doesn't seem to notice that his appearance has turned to that of a normal, blond-haired man without his trademark scars, paint or outfit. He walks through the old-looking house, glancing into a mirror on his way to a room in the back. He seems to know exactly where he's going.
The back room is painted in a soft yellow; it's a bedroom with an old four-poster bed and a large beige comforter. Wrapped up in the comforter is a woman with blond hair and a soft face - she's just as blurry as the old man, but somehow it's easier to make out her features. She can't be older than 24, and she sits up on the bed and the Joker approaches, climbing into the bed like he's always been there.
The woman rolls over and lies on top of him, smiling so serenely, as though nothing were wrong. And maybe her hair is looking distinctly darker in some parts, or maybe she seems to have something wrong with her face, though it's impossible to really tell what, but it doesn't seem like the Joker minds in any way.
She smiles and opens her mouth; she looks like she's saying something but all that comes out is a bat, stretching its wings. The Joker picks it up and it squeaks, flapping around and shrieking at him. He just laughs, soundlessly - the whole thing is soundless, except for that damned bat - and lets it go; he can find it again whenever he wants.
He looks back to the woman, who's now holding a knife to his cheek, saying something with that serene smile still, and it's so peaceful that the Joker doesn't even care when she puts the knife through the soft tissue of his cheek; he laughs as she drags it down.
And everything is just so very, very serene and that's where the dream ends.]
((That's riiiight, all that work to stay up and he ends up passing out just in time to have a really weird dream. It's up to you guys to decide if it means anything or not - but it is not a direct memory.
Also it's NOT an interactive dream, so no worries about dealing with non-deformed Joker <3))
Tick, tock. Just waiting and it is so. Boring. If I have to sit here any longer I will go crazy, at least Arkham wasn't so dull. There was the rec room and you could color on the walls but not here.
What else is there to talk about? Tick, tock, tick-tock. Listen to the big clock, look at its hands move 'round.
Running out of ticks on the clock. Not getting any younger.
Now how does that make you feel?
What else is there to talk about? Tick, tock, tick-tock. Listen to the big clock, look at its hands move 'round.
Running out of ticks on the clock. Not getting any younger.
Now how does that make you feel?
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Lion tamer.
((OOC: FFFFFUUUUCK sorry guys, Livejournal decided that it didn't like my post with the Writer's Block thing in it. :X))
Lion tamer.
((OOC: FFFFFUUUUCK sorry guys, Livejournal decided that it didn't like my post with the Writer's Block thing in it. :X))
So, would anyone like to have Joker in their little group for the Jurassic Park virus? I know that Setine was asking me about Cuddy for him and Chuck for Blair...? Is that still on?
ALSO you know, I really have been loving playing with HAL9000 and he so very needs to get in on one of these viruses, so if you'd want him to play along - well, I have a few ideas for that. If anyone would like to have him going "THIS IS SO NEAT *3*" while being generally unhelpful past "Tyrannosaurus Rex cannot make rapid course adjustment, so run in serpentine paths!" (which is a lie if Land of the Lost is to be believed), lemme know here too 8)
(Emo, Aquaman, Garnet and Joel are also available, but idk what they'd do besides... be freaked out/totally enthralled by the dinosaurs.)
ALSO you know, I really have been loving playing with HAL9000 and he so very needs to get in on one of these viruses, so if you'd want him to play along - well, I have a few ideas for that. If anyone would like to have him going "THIS IS SO NEAT *3*" while being generally unhelpful past "Tyrannosaurus Rex cannot make rapid course adjustment, so run in serpentine paths!" (which is a lie if Land of the Lost is to be believed), lemme know here too 8)
(Emo, Aquaman, Garnet and Joel are also available, but idk what they'd do besides... be freaked out/totally enthralled by the dinosaurs.)
((015)) [Voice]
May. 21st, 2009 03:04 am[There's almost ninety seconds of random normal sounds - the clicking of a keyboard and mouse, a foot tapping against the floor, soft music playing somewhere in the background - the exact song is hard to distinguish, other than it sounds like something very unusual for someone like the Joker to be listening too. There's also the random sound of metal scraping against metal.
Finally, he speaks up.]
I'm having some trouble, folks. A real conundrum, a, uh, a pickle. Y'see, I've got these random - this random smiley face slashed into a goon's face - the same one from my last voice post, don't worry - and nobody's helped me at all with figuring it out. A shame. [Saccharine-] Batsy, why aren't you avenging the innocent civilians?
Anyway, the problem here is that - well, I have so many ideas for the next few months and I can't quite find the time to do any of it! So, I'm just a little busy and you know what? I'm going to need a vacation pretty soon here.
[Silence for thirty seconds, where he turns up the music just a little louder. It sounds like country music.]
I'll take care of that, however, just a little bit later. I already have some prime vacation spots picked out, too. Until then...
[He hums a few bars of Yankee Doodle and clicks off.]
((OOC: All replies voice unless otherwise stated~))
Finally, he speaks up.]
I'm having some trouble, folks. A real conundrum, a, uh, a pickle. Y'see, I've got these random - this random smiley face slashed into a goon's face - the same one from my last voice post, don't worry - and nobody's helped me at all with figuring it out. A shame. [Saccharine-] Batsy, why aren't you avenging the innocent civilians?
Anyway, the problem here is that - well, I have so many ideas for the next few months and I can't quite find the time to do any of it! So, I'm just a little busy and you know what? I'm going to need a vacation pretty soon here.
[Silence for thirty seconds, where he turns up the music just a little louder. It sounds like country music.]
I'll take care of that, however, just a little bit later. I already have some prime vacation spots picked out, too. Until then...
[He hums a few bars of Yankee Doodle and clicks off.]
((OOC: All replies voice unless otherwise stated~))
THIS was the most UNPRODUCTIVE DAY EVER. Over and under ian d in and out and up the streets and into rrats nests like maggots under the skin and NO-THING at all to show for it but the sound of laughing henchemn saying i should take a TAXI home. fuckers.
but at least coming back and finding out i hadn't justh ad some drinks that i repressed was REASSURING AS ALL HELL
christ, i haven't ben this drunk in years.
but at least coming back and finding out i hadn't justh ad some drinks that i repressed was REASSURING AS ALL HELL
christ, i haven't ben this drunk in years.
((013)) [Voice]
May. 11th, 2009 10:13 pm[It isn't an accident that the Joker has his voice post on as he talks on the phone; there's the sound of feet hitting the desk as he props himself up in his chair, sounding more like an idle secretary than a pissed off crimelord. On speakerphone, there's the sound of a gibbering, panicked man, a hint of an Italian accent, one of the Joker's crossovers from Maroni's men. It's not distinctly clear what he's saying, but there's mentions of "blood everywhere," and something about a face being carved up.]
Yes, Ernie. I get - no, stop babbling- I - ENOUGH. [The goon on the other end of the line falls silent, though there's sound of rioting in the background.] I get it. Just find out who did it.
["But, boss-"] I'm, I'm sorry, is that questioning me I'm hearing? I don't think I pay you to ask questions. Do you know what would happen to your - uh, what was her name, Maddie? What's gonna happen to her education if the breadwinner - that's you, Ern - if the breadwinner is out of the picture all of a sudden? Growing up uneducated and with a single parent... Now that would be tough. Do you get me?
[Silence. The Joker chuckles, taking it for a yes.] Good. Now, I don't want to scare you kids over there, but you are going to find out what happened. If I have to come down there? No no no no no. You know that will end badly. Now, find out who decided to carve a smile into Bozo's face and let him, uh, just give him a reminder as to whose shtick that is.
[More silence, and then a muffled "yes," before a click. The Joker sighs, and his feet scrape against the desk as he sits straight again, clearly addressing the mic this time.]
Now then. If I find out one of you people has anything to do with this, I will stop playing nice. Get me?
[The mic clicks off.]
((OOC: all replies voice unless otherwise stated. 8D))
Yes, Ernie. I get - no, stop babbling- I - ENOUGH. [The goon on the other end of the line falls silent, though there's sound of rioting in the background.] I get it. Just find out who did it.
["But, boss-"] I'm, I'm sorry, is that questioning me I'm hearing? I don't think I pay you to ask questions. Do you know what would happen to your - uh, what was her name, Maddie? What's gonna happen to her education if the breadwinner - that's you, Ern - if the breadwinner is out of the picture all of a sudden? Growing up uneducated and with a single parent... Now that would be tough. Do you get me?
[Silence. The Joker chuckles, taking it for a yes.] Good. Now, I don't want to scare you kids over there, but you are going to find out what happened. If I have to come down there? No no no no no. You know that will end badly. Now, find out who decided to carve a smile into Bozo's face and let him, uh, just give him a reminder as to whose shtick that is.
[More silence, and then a muffled "yes," before a click. The Joker sighs, and his feet scrape against the desk as he sits straight again, clearly addressing the mic this time.]
Now then. If I find out one of you people has anything to do with this, I will stop playing nice. Get me?
[The mic clicks off.]
((OOC: all replies voice unless otherwise stated. 8D))
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So a woman is walking around in the slums of Gotham, you know, the Narrows. She's coming back from work and it's about the evening, right? So she's walking home, out of the Narrows - you might not know this, but there are nice parts close to the Narrows and some really fine people live there, while working down in the slummy bits of our illustrious Gotham. She happens to run in to an old blind man, who's trying to cross the street but you know how cars are, sometimes they run red lights when cops never go near their area. So, she offers to help him across. They get to talking while picking their way through the traffic, and he tells her that he has this, uh, this letter he has to deliver and it better be quick or else he'd get in real trouble. But, see, he was also late to pick up his, uh, seeing eye dog at the vet.
So, being the fine young woman she is, the lady offers to deliver the letter for him. After all, it's on the way home. He says, "Oh, thank you," and hands over a little envelope for her. She says good-bye and turns to go, but then realizes that the last two numbers on the address are blurred. She turns to ask if it's a four or a nine but the old man is dodging through cars with his sunglasses in hand.
Shocked that somebody in the Narrows of all places was lying to her, she takes the letter to the police, wondering what, exactly, she was delivering. Down in the Narrows, y'see, this kind of thing might happen when the mob wants to transfer cash with no strings, or drugs, or something.
Well, the police, seeing what was on the letter and deciding it was worth their time, go to raid the apartment that was on the envelope. They find the place and it looks like a mini meat market, with slabs of flesh hung up on hooks from the ceiling and all sorts of weirdos shopping around for the best bits.
The letter, by the by, read, "This is the last one for today."
Oh, the Narrows. Nobody really knows if it's true or not, but I wouldn't put it past 'em.
So a woman is walking around in the slums of Gotham, you know, the Narrows. She's coming back from work and it's about the evening, right? So she's walking home, out of the Narrows - you might not know this, but there are nice parts close to the Narrows and some really fine people live there, while working down in the slummy bits of our illustrious Gotham. She happens to run in to an old blind man, who's trying to cross the street but you know how cars are, sometimes they run red lights when cops never go near their area. So, she offers to help him across. They get to talking while picking their way through the traffic, and he tells her that he has this, uh, this letter he has to deliver and it better be quick or else he'd get in real trouble. But, see, he was also late to pick up his, uh, seeing eye dog at the vet.
So, being the fine young woman she is, the lady offers to deliver the letter for him. After all, it's on the way home. He says, "Oh, thank you," and hands over a little envelope for her. She says good-bye and turns to go, but then realizes that the last two numbers on the address are blurred. She turns to ask if it's a four or a nine but the old man is dodging through cars with his sunglasses in hand.
Shocked that somebody in the Narrows of all places was lying to her, she takes the letter to the police, wondering what, exactly, she was delivering. Down in the Narrows, y'see, this kind of thing might happen when the mob wants to transfer cash with no strings, or drugs, or something.
Well, the police, seeing what was on the letter and deciding it was worth their time, go to raid the apartment that was on the envelope. They find the place and it looks like a mini meat market, with slabs of flesh hung up on hooks from the ceiling and all sorts of weirdos shopping around for the best bits.
The letter, by the by, read, "This is the last one for today."
Oh, the Narrows. Nobody really knows if it's true or not, but I wouldn't put it past 'em.
I really love this community.
And since nobody can lie, you know I'm telling the truth. After all, where else can I go to see teenagers angst on the internet?
Oh, wait. Hahahaha! Can't see them interact with known old folk, though, so that's a bonus. If you call that a bonus.
By the way? You all think I'm crazy, but you don't really pay attention, do you?
Let's play a round of twenty questions, folks.
And since nobody can lie, you know I'm telling the truth. After all, where else can I go to see teenagers angst on the internet?
Oh, wait. Hahahaha! Can't see them interact with known old folk, though, so that's a bonus. If you call that a bonus.
By the way? You all think I'm crazy, but you don't really pay attention, do you?
Let's play a round of twenty questions, folks.
[LOCKED TO: CRANE]
Doctor Crane? Dollface? Sweetie-pie?
I want the Riddler's head on a stick.
What's taking so long?
Doctor Crane? Dollface? Sweetie-pie?
I want the Riddler's head on a stick.
What's taking so long?
