tntandgasoline | ((013)) [Voice]

[It isn't an accident that the Joker has his voice post on as he talks on the phone; there's the sound of feet hitting the desk as he props himself up in his chair, sounding more like an idle secretary than a pissed off crimelord. On speakerphone, there's the sound of a gibbering, panicked man, a hint of an Italian accent, one of the Joker's crossovers from Maroni's men. It's not distinctly clear what he's saying, but there's mentions of "blood everywhere," and something about a face being carved up.]

Yes, Ernie. I get - no, stop babbling- I - ENOUGH. [The goon on the other end of the line falls silent, though there's sound of rioting in the background.] I get it. Just find out who did it.

["But, boss-"] I'm, I'm sorry, is that questioning me I'm hearing? I don't think I pay you to ask questions. Do you know what would happen to your - uh, what was her name, Maddie? What's gonna happen to her education if the breadwinner - that's you, Ern - if the breadwinner is out of the picture all of a sudden? Growing up uneducated and with a single parent... Now that would be tough. Do you get me?

[Silence. The Joker chuckles, taking it for a yes.] Good. Now, I don't want to scare you kids over there, but you are going to find out what happened. If I have to come down there? No no no no no. You know that will end badly. Now, find out who decided to carve a smile into Bozo's face and let him, uh, just give him a reminder as to whose shtick that is.

[More silence, and then a muffled "yes," before a click. The Joker sighs, and his feet scrape against the desk as he sits straight again, clearly addressing the mic this time.]

Now then. If I find out one of you people has anything to do with this, I will stop playing nice. Get me?

[The mic clicks off.]

((OOC: all replies voice unless otherwise stated. 8D))

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

You stopped playing the rules, so someone else took it further. You shouldn't be surprised.

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I have no reason to share information with you, Joker.

It's not rules, it's... [pause] ...Why am I explaining this to you? Shouldn't you just be pissed someone's, uh, killing innocent people? Where's that self-righteous judicial fury of yours?

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Harvey only told me his name, and that he was a dangerous guy. I don't think you get it, Bats. I don't like this playing field unleveled.

I'm already dealing with it.

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I don't like that you consider it a playing field. I'm your enemy. Not Ra's.

If you want answers, talk to Dr. Crane.

Not fast enough. [IMPATIENT >8(]

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Oh for fuck's sake, Batman. If it's Ra's who's killing my boys then it's my problem and there's pretty much nothing you can do about it.

Harvey's taking care of Crane. I get the big bad wolf.

[A long pause.]

At least tell me where I might've heard his name before.

The League of Shadows. He was responsible for providing Crane with the flower that is the key ingredient in his toxin. But, I already took care of the toxin's dispersion.

...And you didn't think to tell Junior Detective Dent that?

[A groan.] I don't know the League of Shadows, that's not where I've heard it. Useless!

He shouldn't be involved. Don't get him involved. He's not one of your attack dogs, Joker, you can't just send him after Crane.

No, he isn't. What he is is a stupid fuck who you gave a lead on a fucking mysterious Arab and he's playing Hardy Boys with it. He came to me. He said he'd take Crane. I didn't tell him to do a goddamned thing and I don't have to keep him out of trouble. If he wants to fuck around, he will.

He's a separate player from you and me, Bats.

Then, enjoy your wild goose chase after a problem I've already solved. I'm more interested in protecting Dent than I am in fighting with you.

If he weren't a problem, then my goons wouldn't be getting mutilated.

You can't protect him, Batman. There's nothing there to protect.

He's not Two-Face yet. Dent is still in there.

You should be grateful it's just your goons getting mutilated rather than the entirety of Gotham.

Oh, Christ, you're not falling for that other Gotham shit too!

My goons are step one.

I'm not falling for anything, but my methods are none of your business.

Ra's doesn't bother with steps, Joker. By the time you know what's happening, the pieces are already in place.

Your methods include buying into some fucking alternate version of our city that doesn't really play out here.

I thought you said it wasn't Ra's? [Smug 8)]

I said the problem has been taken care of.

Then there's a whole other problem to fix. So, get on it! Chop chop! [Two sharp claps, followed by laughter. Yeah, now he's just trying to get you to go away.]

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