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[tntandgasoline]

The Joker was a lot of things. A psychopath to some, a freak others, a liar (though he preferred "storyteller") overall. Overarching qualities all readily apparent - but what most people didn't know was that he was a kind of jack-of-all-trades. He knew how to do a lot of things - except cook, he could never get the "waiting for the food to cook" part down - and most of them were hobbies he happily participated in. Everyone no doubt assumed he was proficient at dirty fighting, knives and all that, and he hoped people knew he was the kind of guy who could build a bomb and mix explosive chemicals with some decency.

Another thing he enjoyed doing was sewing.

Which was the entire point of his current attempt at finding Harvey; he had a garment bag on a hanger over one shoulder, a measuring tape around his neck and a pocketful of pins just aching to be used and damn Harvey for being a sulking little bastard!

The Joker pushed open the door to one of the rooms Harvey tended to avoid him in, craning his head through the doorway to look in. If he didn't find the bastard soon, he would probably burn the entire place down in sheer frustration.

Or, he'd just make Harvey something really embarrassing, since his last clean suit was currently in a pile of scrap in one of the rooms. Yeah, that would be fun.

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[thedawniscoming.livejournal.com]

It had been about three days since Harvey had been back to the house- dwelling, hideout, asylum if he was in a particularly foul mood. It would have been a longer absence if he could have managed, but even the shadier parts of Gotham didn't like a man who wouldn't show his face hanging around too long, and since he wouldn't steal (not yet) the problem of staying alive and nourished to some degree proved more difficult than he would have thought. Funny how many things you take for granted.

At the moment he was glancing over papers, records and little things he had managed to get his hands on. This new work of his was calming in a way, pleasantly nostalgic and absolutely terrible. Half his mind was there, the other half considering Edward Nygma and his little dilemma, his new hiding spot under Bruce Wayne's care. Bruce and his apparent dinner date with a man Nygma claimed would want him dead. He tossed the paper aside. Even half dead he couldn't get any peace.

A shuffling caught his attention and his eyes turned to the doorway even as lips thinned with the knowledge of who it probably was. For a moment he considered darting through the other side door, a thought laced with cackles as he stood his ground and just turned back to the table as the door opened.

"What do you want?" he asked, not bothering to glance up.

[tntandgasoline]

It was unfortunate that Harvey and Edward left the Joker out of so many of their little chats - it would probably give him something to do, other than work on a short (but sweet) letter to the editor, make half-assed plans and, most importantly, harass Harvey.

Oh well.

Now that Harvey had been found, the Joker moved on to step two: get Harvey undressed. He slipped into the room and kicked the door shut - not getting out that way - and debated on how best to phrase his request.

"Take off your pants."

[thedawniscoming.livejournal.com]

That certainly caught Harvey's attention. The look on his face was pure venom as his head shot up to catch sight of the mad man, glare faltering to a more irate look when he took in the measuring tape and bag. What now.

"No." He answered, deciding it was the best way to get the answers he wanted. Asking questions usually lead in circles- no, that wasn't fair. The Joker always answered, plaintively even if the truth was debatable. Have to be fair- Harvey closed his good eye against the mocking, sing song thought and let out a sigh.

"Why?" he ground out instead.

[tntandgasoline]

The Joker made a show of rolling his eyes, twisting the wire hanger so that he could hang the garment bag up on the door. "Because, Harvey, I made something special for you, and you need to put it on so I can make sure it fits."

He unzipped the bag, pushing it off to reveal a (loosely stitched) suit; the fabric was high-quality and expensive-by-the-yard (he never asked how much it cost, just that it was worth it). It was also symmetrically cut down the center, half of it designed in clean white - the other side, black.

He grinned and gestured grandly to his design. "Ta-dah!"

[thedawniscoming.livejournal.com]

Harvey turned his head almost reluctantly, watching the Joker alone until he put up that- that suit and it's blaring mocking. It took him a moment to work through the irrational anger at a few yards of god damned cloth before he turned back to the table, voice coming out in a far more resolute growl.

"No." He said, tone very much like the one he used instants before he would try and break the clown's nose.

[tntandgasoline]

The Joker sighed and tapped his foot, looking over the suit. "I admit, I'm not usually so obvious about these things-" Haha, yeah, right - "But Harvey, you have to."

He risked taking a few steps forward, putting both hands on Harvey's shoulders to give him a patronizingly serious look. "People would never expect Harvey Dent to wear it and you need to start looking the part." A pause. "Oh, and I tore up your other suit to make a pattern for this one, so you don't have any other suits now."

[thedawniscoming.livejournal.com]

"Have to." Harvey spat back, somewhere very close to indignant in his irritability. Then the mad man had his hands on his shoulders like Harvey was being an unreasonable old pal who just needed a little persuasion to catch up- why Harvcey restrained himself from punching the man right there was beyond him.

And, of course, he made sense, no matter how... demeaning and ridiculous the idea was. Dress up like the Joker and god damned Crane, only not in purple or burlap. "And what part is that?" he asked, only mildly irate until he paused, turning his head from the suit to catch Joker's eye, voice low. "You what?"

[tntandgasoline]

"The part where you play Two-Face, not, y'know, Mr. Harvey Dent, ex-District Attorney and current dead man. If anything, I'm helping you keep your identity."

The Joker was surprised that he hadn't been punched yet - but then again, Harvey was showing a bit of unpredictability nowadays. It was a nice change of pace. That tone, though - yeah, he should have assumed Harvey would take offense to using his suit like that. Oh well.

"I wasn't going to get you to help me from the ground up, so I tore up your other suit to make the pattern for this one. I just made it a little, uh, wider some places so I gotta bring it in. It'll look fantastic, Harv, trust me. That other suit? It was plain. This has style!"

He leaped back before Harvey could punch him or something - whatever he would do - and turned to go back to the suit. "Now, take off your clothes so you can put this on."

[thedawniscoming.livejournal.com]

"I'm not a circus act." Harvey growled out, though there was a valid point in the Joker's words. He wanted to be- he was something other than Harvey Dent, and his promise to Bruce only made the need to keep that identity away all the stronger. Besides Harvey was always a dynamic figure, seeking the spotlight because that's how people saw you and that, in the end, was how you got things done. Even now, he wanted people to know a man behind each dead gangster in the gutter. Glory and threat, showing them all he had kept his promise even if they never knew whose promise he had kept. Harvey Dent, after all, was dead.

The Joker's jump back was well timed - Harvey moved to swing but lowered his fist when the man moved, watching him coldly before pulling the coin out of his pocket and flipping it through the air. After a moment, staring at his hand, he sighed and stuffed the heirloom back into his pocket. He could humor this- he was not wearing that damned thing out.

"Fine." He said, pulling off his tie in a swift jerk and unbuttoning his shirt.

[tntandgasoline]

"No, you're not. You just need some more style. I'm getting tired of hearing about that guy in the tweed suit killing people." Sure, Harvey's suit wasn't tweed - thank God, he wouldn't have tolerated that - but the effect was the same. It made him... plain. "And you can't be plain and still make a statement."

The Joker turned and leaned against the wall, watching Harvey with a relatively patient gaze. "I hope you're wearing underwear. If you're not, better go put some on while we're at it."

[thedawniscoming.livejournal.com]

Harvey didn't dignify the tweed comment with a response, tossing his tie to the side and allowing himself a withering glare before pulling his shirt off as well. "Do you really think that dumb suit of yours does anything?" He asked as he placed his shirt to the side. "It's your actions that make the statement. That-" he gestured at the garish outfit. "-the make up and scars? A gimmick."

Even if the scars and makeup were a part of the man. Harvey shot another irate look at the comment before unbuttoning his pants- yes he had boxers. Call it learning from the past. He placed the clothes aside, looking back at the Joker with his brow raised.

[tntandgasoline]

The Joker rolled his eyes again and turned to pull the pieces of the suit out - jacket, pants, shirt, still need to make the tie...

"I don't think I'd make the same impression in a pair of cutoffs and a tee-shirt." He gave Harvey a long look before throwing him the pants and shirt. "I took the pins out." I think. "Just don't pull the threads."

[thedawniscoming.livejournal.com]

Harvey caught the clothes with a derisive look, placing the shirt to the side and holding up the pants. This was ridiculous.

"Then try a pair of capris." Harvey answered dryly, pulling the pants on with some degree of care though his face was still set in a scowl.

[tntandgasoline]

The pouting was dully noted, but the Joker had more important things to worry about. Namely the fact that he could already tell the crotch was too loose. Hrmph.

"I don't have the thighs for shorts in general, Harv. Put on the whole thing and then I'll take it in."

[thedawniscoming.livejournal.com]

"Didn't stop you from the nurse getup." Harvey answered, putting on the rest of the damned thing and glancing over at the clown warily. He didn't like this situation one bit.

"Why the hell do my clothes matter to you?" he asked - not whined. He was reasonably irate, that was all.

[tntandgasoline]

"Costumes are different," the Joker waved a hand, dismissing that whole issue outright. He didn't make a habit of crossdressing - well, not too often, anyway.

He gave Harvey a long, analyzing look after he donned the suit, making a face at the looseness of the pants and the shoulders. "Because, Harvey, I want you looking your best. I'm getting tired of being the better dressed one." He came forward and pushed Harvey's arms up - "Hold 'em straight" - and pulled out some pins, bringing in the shoulders a little and pinning them in place.

"Shoulder pads, yes, those'll make it look straighter, bolder. You'll look good like this, not just some half-bit mobster lookalike. You really wanna wear suits those Italian shits would wear? Really, Harvey."

Besides, he was bored and liked dressing people up. Where was the harm in that?

[thedawniscoming.livejournal.com]

"Just because your clothes are better quality doesn't make you better dressed." Harvey answered, glancing at the mess of purple the man called a wardrobe choice. 'Costumes' indeed.

Harvey lifted his arms with a sigh, letting the Joker play as he would, largely ignoring him except to glower when the man made comment on his 'mobster' quality of dress.

"At least their suits don't-" He started, watching the man work with the same slight disbelief that this man- the god damned Joker could fix up a suit. Jack of all trades indeed. "They don't draw unwanted attention."

[tntandgasoline]

"Yes, it does." The Joker wasn't one to fool around on the subject of clothes, after all. Style was important to him. Satisfied with the placement, he shrugged and crouched down, smacking Harvey on the leg lightly.

"Harvey, we both know you want attention. Now spread your legs a little, these pants are too baggy."

[thedawniscoming.livejournal.com]

"I don't-" Harvey glared over but did what he was told. His luck had run sour and he wanted this over with.

"It's not about attention." He said, moving his leg out of irritation. "I made a promise."

[tntandgasoline]

"It is about attention. You know you won't make an impression on the criminal underbelly without attention-grabbing antics."

The Joker pulled out a few pins, balancing them in between the corner of his lips. "Don't move or I'll stick you - and that, uh, it really hurts."

[thedawniscoming.livejournal.com]

"Actions speak loudly enough." Harvey answered, though part of him had to agree with the Joker's words. He had put his face to his cause before because he believed the words. Look where that got him.

Harvey snorted but stilled mostly, letting the man work.

[tntandgasoline]

"Actions speak loudly for the wrong people. After all, a couple people said I killed that schmuck in the apartment building - even though everyone knows that I don't just shoot people."

He licked his lips and pulled a pin from his mouth at the same time, taking in the legs a little and hemming them up just an extra half inch. He knew he made it all a little too big, but that was because it was better to be too big than too small.

"This looks good on you," he muttered around the pins, smugly satisfied that a modified American cut could look so nice. "Just needa tie."

[thedawniscoming.livejournal.com]

And he had a point. It was different if Joker was the scapegoat for the mob killings- chaos was indiscriminate, the criminals wouldn't be the only ones afraid. "It's easier to blame the devil they know." Harvey commented, almost resigned. The Joker and his fucking points.

Harvey could only see a vague, smudged reflection on a nearby window - blurred lines of black and white. He imagined Rachel would find it funny, if not for the circumstance. Maybe Bruce too.

"You make your own clothes." He said, not really surprised anymore.

[tntandgasoline]

The Joker finished pinning away excess folds, rising to his feet and taking a step back to analyze the changes. "Mmhmm," he said vaguely, "Most of them. Not all the costumes, though - no, those you gotta buy mosta the time."

He had made a few of them, but when would he get the chance to wear a kimono? Never could be too prepared, of course...

"How's it feel? Too, uh, loose anywhere? Tight?"

[thedawniscoming.livejournal.com]

"It's fine." Harvey answered, surprisingly truthful. Hell it fit better than most of his good suits for court did. This ridiculous thing... he sighed, moving his arms without particularly caring if a pin prick would follow.

"Is that what this is then? A show?" He tugged at his collar.

[tntandgasoline]

The Joker paced around Harvey and made sure that it looked even in the back - he'd been a bit hasty cutting the cloth, but everything looked fine.

"Is what a show? The suit?" He came back around and grinned. "You really gotta be, uh, more specific, Harv. You can change outta it now, by the way."

[thedawniscoming.livejournal.com]

"The costumes, the makeup - this." Harvey gestured vaguely. Their lives maybe.

He pulled the jacket off, the shirt following as he turned to his shabbier but much quieter clothes.

[tntandgasoline]

With an eyeroll, the Joker grabbed the clothes from Harvey as they were removed, going to hang them back up. He knew better.

"The only part that's for show is the part where we're outside." He shot Harvey a vaguely annoyed look, "Do you really think I would be standing here, making you strip for my amusement if I thought I was on the set or something? Really, Harvey. You need to stop thinking so hard - you'll hurt yourself."

loving the new icons

[thedawniscoming.livejournal.com]

"Maybe for a laugh." Harvey answered, finishing pulling on his pants and buttoning his shirt as the man spoke- mocked. Either.

He turned, glancing at the split suit the Joker had in hand, not looking irritated but nearly thoughtful. "Two face huh."

Re: loving the new icons

[tntandgasoline]

"You wouldn't do it if it was just for show, then." He stood back after he hung up the suit, crossing his arms and looking at his handiwork.

"That's what they call you. All over the place." He tossed a grin at Harvey, smug and amused all in one. "You'll always be Harvey to me, though."