tntandgasoline | [RL - Joker FINALLY makes good on his promises to Tommy]

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[RL - Joker FINALLY makes good on his promises to Tommy]

There was something charming about New York that the Joker found familiar. It was like a little Gotham away from Gotham. Not that he needed it - it was just nice to know that Tommy's home city wasn't so different from his own.

The biggest similarity between the two, though, was that he really could go anywhere without a second glance. Queens wasn't so bad. And Tommy's little apartment building! It was so quaint, reminiscent of Gotham with it's... shoddy protection.

It only took a few moments before he had picked the lock - but, of course, it wouldn't be that easy. A deadbolt? Really? He didn't feel like breaking the door down, here!

"Fine," he grunted, banging on the door with the back of his fist. Better not to say exactly who it was - he lifted his hand over the peephole, too, just in case.

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The Joker immediately slid his foot in between the door and the wall, laughing as he leaned his weight hard against the door. He grinned in her face. "Told you."

Tommy gave a start at the unwanted and familiar voice. Charlie continued to bark behind her, thank God for paranoid Queens builders giving chains to door. She moved at the door pressing her back against the door and pressing back against it.

"Fuck you! Get away from me!" she snarled, pushing against it, discovering just how little grip converse held - damnit. She quickly scanned the door and bit down. Her phone was on the floor in the living room - great!

"What do you want a cookie for being a good little paranoid clown?!"

"What kinda, uh, what kinda dog is that I hear?" he drawled, idly examining his gloved hand. "Don't bother putting your back into it, either, you're barely over a hundred pounds and you don't exactly have the muscle mass right now to beat me down."

He waved a hand in front of the gap in the door. "I'm unarmed, if that's any consolation. Let me in before your neighbors see us." He had a package in the other hand, but that was beside the point.

Tom felt the same fury bubble through her veins and she clenched her fists. Fresh white nails digging into her palms. She was a fucking twig, and she hated it. She gave a frustrated growl and hugged her hands to her chest, clenching jaw when she saw the gloved hand.

"Oh, like that means a whole lot to me." she snarled at him. She was silent for a while, and then gave the same growl of frustration she always did.

"What do you want? You proved your point, now get the fuck out of here!"

Charlie gave a loud high howl, making Tommy wince and her hands fly to her ears.

"Shhhh, pooch, it's alright! I'm not gonna hurt you or your pretty little mistress. And it worked for Maggie and Lisa, didn't it?"

He laughed, "I have a present for you. But if you don't let me in, I'm going to get loud, and then when your neighbors come out to see what's going on, what will they say about the cute little blond living in ugly old Tommy's place?"

Charlie gave a soft whimper and quirked an ear in confusion looking at Tommy. Tommy gave a frustrated growl and waved at Charlie to go away. Instead the dog rounded the kitchen to get a closer peek at the door.

"Alright, one; you lied to Maggie, and two; I sure as shit am not Lisa." she pointed out, holding up her hand now simply leaning against the door, crossing her arms angrily.

She rolled her eyes, slouching slightly and dropping her head. She covered her face with her hands and groaned.

"Any present you have I seriously doubt I want." she replied harshly, "And as for my neighbors -" she paused for a moment thinking, "I can... Deal with them."

One was a drunk and the other two were an angry old couple. Not too difficult to deal with. Though he was pretty sure one of them would have a heart attack if they opened their door and saw Heath Ledger standing outside Tom's door.

"Lied is such an ugly word - and hey, there's nothing wrong with Lisa." The Joker huffed and shoved again at the door. "Would you just fucking let me in already, you stupid bitch?"

After all, if he knew Tommy at all, he'd - she'd? - throw a fit over the smallest insult and open the door just to try and beat his ass.

Tommy gave a start and stumbled slightly, Charlie barked and growled. She backed up against the door again, glaring at the opening.

"Oh!" she began insulted, "After that? Fuck no, asshole. Go to hell, I'm an idiot sometimes but I sure as shit am not that bad."

She added turning around and pushing her hands against the door now.

"And yes, you did lie, and I never said there was anything wrong with Lisa."

"If you don't let me in, Tommy, I will break down the door. I've been trying to be polite, and I promise you that I'm capable of it."

He paused, then sighed and leaned his head against the door. "By the way, you should be using your shoulder, not your hands." Christ, what would it take to get in to this goddamned apartment?

Tommy rolled her eyes and scoffed, leaning her head against the door. Yes, his voice was starting to make her hair stand on end. Of course, crazy people always had strange powers. Godamnit, shit, fuck, damn, damn, damnit!
She was leaning against the door again and caught the curious brown eyes of Charlie who sat in the kitchen, with one limp ear.

She mouthed at the dog to go away. Charlie gave a whimper and cocked his head back, but stood up and trotted out of the kitchen and sat instead in the center of the living room.

Tom sighed, obviously thinking. Leaning her head against the door for a moment trilling her fingers. She clenched her jaw again, teeth already starting to ache.

"Alright. You don't touch me, you don't touch my dog, and you keep your hands where I can see them. Got it?" she snarled, holding up a finger.

"Or so help me, I will show you how big of a bitch I can be, alright?"

He rolled his eyes. "That was the intention. Beautiful blond or not, Tommy, you're still the largest idiot in the entire multiverse. I don't want to touch you. And I don't hurt animals." Most of the time. Never dogs, at least. "Now are you going to let me in?"

Tommy rolled her eyes again. Blah, blah, blah, blah - cocky little fucker wasn't he? She sighed and leaned against the door slightly.

"If you move out of the goddamn way." she replied in a sing song sweetened and mocking tone.

Asshole.

He did move - not his foot, though, oh no. That wasn't going anywhere.

Dear Christ was he annoying as hell! Tom couldn't help her stomach from churning and chewed on her lip, giving a big sigh and moving over to unhook the chain. All the while the same chant kept going through her head: Bad idea, baaad idea, really, really bad idea! Bad, bad bad. Dumb, dumb, stuupid stupid Irishmen! Dumb, dumb, dumb! Really fucking dumb.

She unlatched the door and then backed off a fairly dramatic distance, standing by the by the kitchen counter and crossing her arms, glowering still. Charlie peeked around from behind her, raising his tail to wag it at the new comer.

"Come in, close the door and get to the point quickly. Same rules apply, and you stay three feet away from me at all times, got it!?" she snarled, pointing at him.

The Joker chuckled and slouched into the apartment, closing the door behind him and looking around. "Well, it is Queens," he muttered, "Shouldn't expect much."

He looked at Tommy with a deadpan expression, raising an eyebrow and crossing his arms behind his head, stepping into the living room. "Never pegged you for the cautious type. Then again, paranoia is one of the first signs of psychosis. Why don't you get a knife from the drawer? Or a gun - you have a gun, don't you?"

Tommy remained by the counter, making a disgusted sound as she watched him walk in and past her. She remained leaning her side against the counter. Usually she would lean her hip, but she was much shorter now and couldn't. She rolled her eyes again as he spoke, tensing where she stood and turned to look over her shoulder at him.

"What did you expect? Silk and candles?" she sneered turning around to face him. Charlie made an annoyed groan and trotted off down the hall, a soft thud signaling that the dog had laid down in the hall. Tom glanced after him and then back at the Joker.

"Wouldn't you like to know." she replied, giving a mock smile, which quickly faded as she pushed blond hair behind her ear.

"More beer cans strewn around, actually, but then again, you're a recovering alcoholic, aren't you." He finally tossed the package at her. She was just as much of a jerk as a girl, and it was a little obnoxious. "Sell that when you're done with it, and stop leaning." He gave her a patronizing fingerwag, "A lady stands with good posture."

He finally shrugged and crashed on the couch with no ado. "Actually, I could care less with what you arm yourself with. You wouldn't be the first person to pull a weapon on me, remember?"

Tom gave a start at the package, but managed to catch it none the less. She glowered at him, holding the package and looking it over over before glaring back up at him.

She gave him the finger, "Coming from a man shaped like a question mark - real nice." she replied harshly, giving another mocking smile and turning on her heels walking around the counter, grumbling under breath about 'follow your own goddamn advice'. She stood on the opposite side of the counter and placed down the package, pushing it away from her. Well, it wasn't ticking.

"Oh, yeah. I forget your so popular." she replied in a dead pan voice, rolling her eyes.

"Manners, darling!" he laughed, "You aren't going to make any friends with an attitude like that!" He politely ignored the remark on his posture - all part of the character, after all - and instead focused on the latter comment. "Popular? No no no, more like wanted man. You don't need to sugarcoat it, sweetie. By the by, have I already told you how cute you are when you're angry?"

He wondered how long it would take to get her to throw a punch. Not long at all, if he tried. "Eris did a bang-up job with you, though. I'd say you should stay like this."

He could blow his manners out his goddamn ass for all Tommy cared! She made a face at him, that clear read 'screw you, giggles'. The cute comment made her move and she clenched her jaw and hands into fits, leaning her elbows on the counter. She drew her hands to her face growling through her hands, bowing her head, her hands moved into her hair. Holding her hair in her hands, as she grumbled beneath her breath, shaking her head.

"Quite possibly the stupidest thing I have ever done in my life..." she grumbled and ran busy hand through her hair, sighing and clearing her throat.

She looked up at him, biting her lip. She closed her eyes gently and shook her head.

"No." she replied softly, trilling a finger nail on the counter.

Oh, but Tommy was fun to irritate, no matter the gender. He made himself comfortable in a position that he could actually see her from, grinning wide at her exasperation. "No? What's wrong with it?"

Well, there were plenty of problems he could see arising from the situation, but it seemed like a good enough deal. He was definitely able to look at Tommy more this way.

Tommy was leaning on the counter with her arms, now. Having quite the problem remaining as still as she was. So instead she settled for picking at her nails for a moment, and shaking her head.

"That - that has to be one of the stupidest and most annoying things you have said thus far." she replied to him, rubbing her temples and shaking her head.

"And considering how much I hate the sound of your voice - that really does say something." she added, shrugging with her hands and lacing her fingers together and resting her chin on her hands.

He watched her fidget with a smirk on his face; how cute. "I'm so sorry, I'm used to men who enjoy the female body." He waved a hand. "I got confused."

Again - she gave him the finger. "Go to hell." she snarled at him and dropped her hands looking at the package. It was starting to annoy her.

"What the hell is it?"

She didn't want to open for fear something might fly out of her. Or worse, be freaking out over and empty box.

"Some things." He waved his hand, "Hand-me-downs, you could say. I bet you have at least a week left, so I thought you might need something if you..." He rolled his eyes as he tried to capture the right words, "Oh, if you go out or something. A quick taking-in and they should fit now."

He grinned, "I can't let a beautiful body go walking around without clothes that flatter it after all. And that little video you posted..." He laughed and gave an exaggerated shudder, "How could I not take notice?"

Tom glared at him as he spoke, then looked at the package. Now she really didn't want to open it. Fuck everyone, and go to hell! She glared at it for a while before covering her face with her hands.

"Fuck, I really don't wanna open it now." she commented through her hands, again rubbing her face and sighing.

"Then don't," he huffed, crossing his arms and, yes, pouting. "It's not my problem if you decide to turn down honest hospitality."

He gave her an analyzing stare. "Don't you have a brush? You look kind of like you have a rat's nest growing in there." Not nearly that extreme, but hey, he was offended.

Her jaw dropped as she gave him a stern, shocked, and horribly sarcastic face.

"Your version of "honest hospitality", I hope to never see." she snarled pointing at him and making air quotes, then blinked. She took a hold of a lock of hair, then looked back at him.

"Your hair is green for Christs, sake. If your gonna give me shit, look in a mirror yourself. Alright?" she hissed, pointing at him then waving a hand at him.

"You're seeing it right now, you idiot." God, but Tommy was an utter idiot! How did a guy like this survive?

"I was saying, there's a brush in there. You need it." He pointed at Tommy almost like a scolding parent would to a guilty child, "Just because you aren't usually a woman doesn't mean you can slack off."

"No, it isn't." She retorted, "This is your proving that you have been stalking me. Which is creepy, asshole!"

Tom glared at him, trilling her fingers for a moment. She didn't believe him, she didn't want to believe. But still she moved towards the package giving a heavy sigh.

"If I see anything else, I'm chucking this at you - and you know I will." she snapped at him.

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[RL - Joker FINALLY makes good on his promises to Tommy]

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